Silence is the enemy

   Do you know that millions of women around the world look up to you? Okay, maybe not so specifically, but to us, as American women. Violence against women is a global issue – one that each of us has the opportunity to take positive action in.
  Recently this topic has been more prominent in the global news. Maybe you heard the story of Ayman Udas, who was murdered by her brothers due to their apparent disapproval of her “morally questionable” career as a singer in her home country of Pakistan. The story of how an Iraqi judge declared it lawful to slap one’s wife also made headlines and seemed to shock throngs of online readers. These stories are heart-wrenching examples of the truths women in other cultures suffer through, although also being poignant enough to draw the media’s attention and make an appearance on the Average Jane’s news sources, including email news pages and popular blog sites.
  Did you hear the story of the latest larger scale attempt at positive press on this subject? Sadly deemed “too violent” by several protestors, a Women’s Aid anti-domestic violence advertisement in Britain featuring actress Keira Knightly also gained heat. More on this story, including a link to the actual video, is available on my blog site.
  Ask yourself – as a woman living in the US, are you honoring your potential to help set a precedent? Regardless of how we actually view our reality as Americans, the truth remains that there is a starry-eyed ideal often held on to by women from other countries about how life must be for us here or maybe more accurately, how life may be for them if they were here.
  The women in these stories are subject to abuse and mistreatment largely by force – they don’t have the same rights afforded to them in order to protect themselves. After all, these gross ideas are often supported by the government and police with defiance costing your life.
  So why is it still so easy for many women to turn a blind eye? These international stories create water cooler conversation, spark college theses and general distasteful inner reactions, yet when one of our girlfriends is abused by her husband or our neighbor’s son is seen screaming at his girlfriend, we deem it to be none of our business and do nothing? Another chance we have to be part of the solution that we choose to let pass us by again.
Silence is the enemy.  I know most of you know at least one person in an abusive situation (statistically speaking one in three women are affected by abuse at some point in their lifetime, usually during their teenage years and usually without knowing what they are experiencing is wrong). Do they have to be visibly beaten, bloody and bruised to constitute being abused? Of course not – bullying, name-calling, verbal and mental assault are all abusive and never acceptable. This includes scenarios at work as well.
   We think abuse is something that happens to other people; to women in lesser developed nations or low income environments and not to us. If you are one of the many women never to have experienced such stress, you are fortunate. The truth is that abuse does happen to all of us – if it is allowed to continue anywhere, then it continues to be a threat to our health, happiness and safety as well as to those we love, regardless of where we live or may come from.
   Simple, fast ways to make a difference now:
• If you know someone in need of help, pass along a website or phone number for professional assistance like:
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-HELP
• Loveisrespect.com
• Find a blog posting on the subject and leave a comment to show your support.
• Like a blog or article? Email a copy to your friends and family. Email is quick, easy and free.
• The Michigan Women’s Forum is an amazing resource you’re already a part of – invite your friends to check it out, too.
   I always say that yes, one person can make a difference, but there is power in numbers. It’s so much stronger when we work together. I believe our potential for success is limitless – do you?

Best wishes,
Barb Marynowski

Barbara H. Marynowski is recognized as an expert in stress management, self-care and personal empowerment. Her passion is helping women live healthier, happier lives free from stress, shame, guilt or fear and she believes everyone has the right to pursue and live a happy, healthy, safe and prosperous life. Appointments and private sessions are available by contacting her directly at BarbMarynowski@aol.com and on her blog at http://www.barbaramarynowski.blogspot.com